I always thought of it simply as a hat.
In the days of my youth ‘cap’ meant a ball cap, preferably with Texas A&M embroidered on the front.
‘Hat’ meant stetson.
If worn, stained felt it meant shelter from the sun on hot days and protection from the sleet and rain of winter.
Clean, with sharp corners on the brim was for dances, dominoes and Shiner beers on Saturday nights.
Now, my hats are mostly worn and stained and reserved specifically for days afield. They are still just hats. At least until Chad Love rechristened them in a blog over at Mallard of Discontent.
Now, they are dork hats.
So, to defend how cool I am, I dove into my photos archives looking for proof.
I did find this cool old photo of my dad on a pheasant hunt wearing his dork hat.

Unfortunately, I personally was not vindicated. I found stacks and stack of photos of me looking like a complete and utter tool.
Dork hat indeed.
On a positive note, I did not find any photos of myself looking sunburned, cold, wet or otherwise more than mildly miserable.
So, I declare a hat victory for all dorks, not for coolness, but for utility.
I embrace my inner and outer dork.

– GM

10 thoughts on “Appearances”

  1. “In the days of my youth ‘cap’ meant a ball cap, preferably with Texas A&M embroidered on the front.”

    Well hell, Greg, there’s your problem right there…

  2. The first comment called me an asshole, luckily, you two showed up just in time!


    The Texas football team is walking down 6th St. on Tuesday night, celebrating like the just won the National Title.
    Guy asks, ” What are you boys celebrating?”
    Texas team captain says, “We just put together a jig saw puzzle and it only took us a week.”
    Guy says, “So?”
    Texas team captain says, “Well, the box said 2 to 4 years…”

    Oklahoma fan is standing in front of the washing machine looking at a sweatshirt with a confused look on his face.
    He shouts to his wife, “Hey honey, how should I wash this sweatshirt?”
    She says, “I don’t know, what does it say?”
    “Oklahoma,” he shouts back.

    Good thing bird season starts tomorrow

  3. T_Rebel put a Stetson on me the other day and said I looked good in it. Guess I better get a bucket calf in the corral lest I be called an asshole.

    Love the blog. Keep up the good work boys and good luck this season.


    1. When I lived in Wyoming, we called them hats or gutters, depending on the weather.

      When I was in San Antonio a while back, I went to Sea World, and this guy was talking to a lady in the audience of the Shamu show. He got her to give a hand signal to the killer whale that was supposed to get it to jump out of the water. Instead, it splashed the heck out of her and the whole section of the audience she was sitting in. The Master of Ceremonies asked her where she was from, and she said, “Oklahoma.” He told her that from now on, he’d be talking real slow, so she could understand. Do you think that was neighborly?

      As for the gutters, I gave them up the same time I gave up dividing piles of animal waste with my boots. Felt kinda topheavy.

  4. Hey Gregory – I recall some old cowboy in a gimme cap saying he was scared to wear a western hat lest someone think he was a truck driver.
    Guess Aggies make so few TDs that they’re justified in putting on a show when they do make one.

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