Pre-Game Strategies

They are out there, even as we speak, going over the playbooks. Refining tactics. Brainstorming new evasive maneuvers. Reviewing the videos from last season. Running scrimmage.

But that’s ok. We’ve been doing the same.

The one thing you can count on is that the bastards won’t be the least bit sportsmanlike.

Some prefer to hunt in groups, walking abreast in a regimented grid pattern, throwing enough collective lead on a single flush that no one knows who actually connected. Not to mention that what would have been edible is now likely sluiced. I guess it’s a social thing. And that approach certainly works, but frankly, I think I’d rather drink light beer and slam my dick in a door.

Give me tangled, twisted bottom lands and a fast-moving pointer who can 180˚ on a dime. A dog who amazes me, just often enough, at his ability to beat them at their own wily game. Just the two of us, scrapping it out through dank ditches and walls of willow and boot-sucking mud, hitting the margins and forgotten corners, far from the crowds. Emerging with tails sticking out of the game bag, covered in the mire and vegetation of their little jungle and looking like extras on the set of Apocalypse Now.

Bring it.

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5 Comments

Filed under Ditch Parrots, Glutton For Punishment, Talegate

5 responses to “Pre-Game Strategies

  1. Jon

    Bring it indeed.

    Sometimes I wonder if bird hunting with only a dog for companionship is just a way to goof off in the woods without having people think of you as a complete social misfit. A notion with which I am perfectly comfortable.

  2. Ouch, Dick in a door and a light beer!? That’s brutal, Smithy.

  3. My wife is wondering why I’m laughing out loud, so I show her and she just shakes her head. I will grab another non-light beer now. Thanks!

  4. That’s how it goes around my place too. Even my dog laughs, but not the whiffy.

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